With the continuous development of population decline and aging, the number of disabled elderly people increases. Family members, as traditional long-term caregivers, fall into a “dilemma” contradictory situation. The situation of family long-term caregivers of the disabled elderly “unwilling to go into” is formed by a variety of contradictions, such as the contradiction between care pressure and physical and mental health, the contradiction between caring for the elderly and supporting children, the contradiction between care time and social activities, the contradiction between care professionalism and the lack of care knowledge and skills, the contradiction between the need for disability care and insufficient social support. However, the “unable to leave” situation of family long-term caregivers of the disabled elderly is caused by a variety of factors, such as the caregivers being affected by the concept and emotion of filial piety, the contradiction between the supply and demand of care resources, the good quality of care relationship, the gender mismatch, and the caregivers suffering from “kindness abduction.” Therefore, to improve the dilemma of family long-term caregivers of the disabled elderly, people should further improve the relevant system, form a social support system for family caregivers of the disabled elderly with the core of the government, family, community, market and social forces, speed up the innovation of traditional family care model and strengthen the cultivation of professional family care service team.